L stirs in his sleep beside me and I watch him in the dim light coming through the window. He’s so beautiful. I want to reach out and brush the soft curls off of his forehead, but he looks so peaceful that I can’t bring myself to do it.
I try to think of what my life was like before I knew him, but I can’t. It seems like he’s been there beside me forever, and I don’t ever want to go back. I now know what it’s like to wake up beside him, and what it’s like when he sneaks up behind me and surprises me with kisses on the back of my neck. I know what it’s like to make love to him in the backseat of my car, and how he likes his tea.
For a moment I wish that we could stay like this forever, but then I rest my hand on my stomach, remembering the life that is growing inside. I haven’t told L yet. I know that that’s selfish, but I like being the only one who knows.
When L told me that he wanted to have a baby, I felt my heart swell wit